The problem with having a blog instead of a journal is that you know people read it. And it this case i generally know who reads it. The problem lies in that one of them is that of whom i speak of in the title... true love... and the other is my friend who doesn't believe in "one-and-onlys." If you two somehow mix it up, i will shank someone.
I love this girl. I think I have known it for awhile now, though my dumbass broke it up with her. I feared following in my family's footsteps and all sorts of unwarranted fears of infidelity. But, though I blame myself, only now have a realized what she means to me.
In the before time, I loved her. She was the love of my life, first and only. In the now time, I love her still. She was the love of my life, first and only. Only with her around do I ever feel content and complete.
And if not for our break up, we would still be together. But, you know what? As wonderful as that road may be, I would have taken her for granted. Quite contrary to normal logic, these things I know are from NOT having her. Obviously this raises the qestion, which would I choose, a life of us together with me taking her for granted, or a life without her, but truly knowing what she meant to me.
Well, I am a hopeless romantic i guess. I just can't take a pick of either dreary scenario. This girl doesn't deserve that douchebag that she dated before who didn't know exactly what she was worth to him. She deserves this current douchebag is still madly in love with her and knows why. Ironically enough, though she loved the old douchebag, she doesn't want the current douchebag who is the clearly superior guy.
I believe in true love, though the person who comments most on my blog may disagree, and with that assumption of true love, I need to be with her.
Only time will tell. God, that is such a cliched thing to say.
2 comments:
hope it turns out alright in the end. *hugs*
Oh rb, you've got me all wrong -- I believe in love, even true love; just not One True Love (it's the numerical limitation that's important!), and especially not One Twoo Wuv as represented by mainstream media as the pinnacle of romantic achievement.
That said ... I do empathise. It's tough to finally realise how much you genuinely love someone, only to find out that it took you too goddamn long to wise up and appreciate them and meanwhile they've up and moved on with their lives. I don't have advice for you because you know, if I did I would've followed it myself, but if you ever need someone to talk to (which is also cliche but true) you can talk to me.
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